Why do some people irritate you?

I think it is interesting how some people can just rub you the wrong way. I find this fascinating because that same person in question can be admired, loved , and respected by many other people.  Are you crazy?  Don’t they all see what you see?  The real question is:  Why do some people irritate you while they don’t bother other people?  Well, it is a psychological fact that when people have mannerisms, speech patterns, display certain habits, or do things that annoy you…more than likely you process these same traits.  So, does that mean that you don’t like yourself? Well, yes and no.  This means you must do some self reflection and evaluation.

Here is an example (This is only an example…it could be anything that bothers you about another person.): If Barbara is chomping her food loudly and talking with her mouth open, you may find yourself thinking, “Oh my gosh!  Doesn’t she realize how unattractive and rude she is being?  I can’t stand that sound she is making with her mouth!”      Mouth Open If you spend a little time reflecting on yourself you may realize some things:  Either, yes, I do that also and I need to correct that behavior. Or, No, I don’t do that now, but I remember my mom correcting me for that very same thing when I was a younger.  Or, yes, I realize that I sometimes do this same thing, and when I am doing this I know I am doing it and I somehow correct myself (probably because my mom use to correct me for it).

In either case, this situation is flaring up old memories or habits from your own life and you need to recognize that you have been there before also.  This can lead you to be more irritated with this person (maybe a little self loathing there), or this can teach you to be more tolerant and realize that nobody is perfect and we are all learning as we go.  I believe that choosing the later is a more healthy approach, because, as Mother Theresa wisely said, “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”  So, forgive yourself for having that same irritating habit (at one time or another), then forgive this person (they are learning as they go too), love yourself (you are lovable), then love that rude person (they are lovable too!).

If you make this attitude choice, the next time you see this person, or anyone, displaying this behavior you will be more tolerant and loving towards them.  That is the ultimate goal in life, right???  Love your neighbor as yourself!

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