The Benefits of Complaining

For those of you who know me or have been reading this blog long enough will recognize that the title of this post, The Benefits of Complaining is simply used to peak your curiosity. There simply are no benefits to complaining! Yes, you may need to vent or burn off a little steam now and againwe all dobut idle and perpetual complaining has no positive outcome.

Weve all had them, people in our lives, who complain and complain and complain. Instead of focusing on all the wonderful parts of their lives, they choose to give all their energy to the dark side. Why do people complain? It is ugly, it is draining, it is unproductive, it is self-consuming, and it is a repellent. I have learned, and Im sure you have learned this as well: Complaining doesnt solve anything. If a person really wants to make their life or situation better, they will brainstorm and search for a better way and outcome. When the person just complains, no solution will be had.

Complaining is like second-hand smoke, it affects everyone around you!

I think most people who complain just do it to get attention. They consciously or unconsciously want to play victim. They want people to feel sorry for them and give them the justification for being sad or angry or jealous or whatever negative emotion they are feeling. They have learned that they get attention by spreading their misery to anyone who will listen. They actually feel comfortable thereif they didnt, they would move onward and upward! The sad thing about that is, like I said before, people who complain are a natural repellant. These complainers tend to go through friends in a hurry. Nobody wants to be drug down with them. They say misery loves company. I sure dont. Do you? Do you like to be around people who complain about anything and everything?

What you put out there comes right back to you! So if you always complain about having a headachewell, you will continue to keep having headaches. As long as you think about and talk about and focus on having a headache, you will continue to have a headache. If you talk about not having enough money and you tell people all about your financial woes, you will keep attracting not having enough money. If you tell people how awful your marriage is, then your marriage will continue to be awful. If you are always sick and you continually tell people, Oh, Im okjust sick again. Then you will continue to be sick. Get the picture? Do you know someone like this? Are you a person who complains all the time instead of finding a solution and focusing on all the goodness in your life?

Philippians 2:14 says, Do everything without complaining or arguing.
Sure, we all have situations that come about in our lives that are not pleasant or are uncomfortable. Those are there to teach us something. Those situations are gifts, if we are open to the lessons and the growth. If we embrace them and learn from them, we will grow and we will move on to something else. If there is a reoccurring situation or ailment in your life, you need to question why. Unfortunate things keep happening because the lesson has not yet been learned. Is it your diet? Do you need to adjust your stinking thinking? Is your vibration output negative and that of a victim mentality? Do you continually have your own private pity party? What unhealthy situations are you attracting into your life by complaining?

Unfortunately, but all too true, complaining carries an undertone of blame.
When you are complaining, you are also blaming.
And when you are blaming, you are not taking ownership.
And when you are not taking ownership, you are playing the victim.

Here are several examples…can you relate?

Man, I have such a bad headache! I hate the wind; whenever it is windy I get a headache. These headaches make my life miserable!
People always take advantage of me! When am I going to learn to stop trusting people? People arent fair and I am always getting screwed!
I didnt get a good grade on my test. The teacher didnt give us enough time to study. I hate that class!
I cant lose these last ten pounds. I am so busy; I cant get to the gym enough. I hate that I have my mom’s metabolism!

Here is the definition of Complain“– To express grief, pain, or discontent. Complaining is not necessarily bad, if you use it as a starting point. Complaining is healthy if you are expressing yourself as a means to get past somethingto get it out in the open, and then you do something to solve it…you do something to eliminate it…you do something to grow and move onward and upward. Its harmful when you continue to complain and wallow in it, where the negativity perpetuates and then you automatically and unconsciously attract more negative and uncomfortable situations and ailments. And the cycle continues in a downward spiral.

Take Action: This week and moving forward, lets be aware of our complaining. When we find that we are complaining, lets recognize the problem and work on a solution to fix it. Lets seek the lesson to be learned and grow form the discomfort instead of perpetuating it and inviting more negativity into our lives.

Because Together is Better,



  1. Well I just don’t know why everything just cant be the way I think it should be all the time… whhaaaaaaa…!!!!!
    LOL :~)>

    You are such a great living example of your message – sick as can be all week and not an utterance outaya.
    Get well gorgeous,

  2. Great post Deanna! I loved this, “Complaining is like second-hand smoke, it affects everyone around you!” It is so true!

  3. Thank you for the topic this week. It could not have come at a better time for me. I try to surround myself…like you…with “goodness” but for some reason there is a tiny plague that continues to find me. At my school site there is a complainer that takes the prize! I have gotten to the point of just repeating to myself when I am around this person, do not give up your joy, do not give up your joy…but sometimes…I just lose it. It angers me. Thanks for this post…it put things in perspective!

  4. Gina Manzeck says:

    Fantastic!!!! Love this one:) Thanks D, xoxo

  5. I loved the blog!!! Everyone should read it. If you haven’t posted it on your FB just do it to help others. Complaining corrupts our life and many become in bondage to negative thinking and complaining, wake up world you ARE WHAT U THINK. cHOOSE YOUR THOUGHTS and guard them with all your will. You can do it!!!!! Blessings love and gratitude!!!!!

  6. Gigi Peterson says:

    Thank you for that reminder that what you put out there comes right back to you!! I will really be conscious of that this week and moving forward. I can think of a couple things I complain about. Even If I don’t say it out loud, I still am thinking in a negative way. I need to turn those thoughts into positive ones with gratitude attached!


  1. […] it can be “like second-hand smoke, it affects everyone around you” (excerpt from Me the Power Around You) . So I pick and choose where I complain, who I complain to (like my therapist) and how I […]

  2. […] it can be “like second-hand smoke, it affects everyone around you” (excerpt from Me the Power Of We) . So I pick and choose where I complain, who I complain to (like my therapist) and how I […]

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