The Heaviest Thing You Can Carry…

GrudgeThe heaviest thing you can carry is a…Grudge! 

We all have one or two or more of them…someone who has done us wrong, has made us look bad, or has cheated us in some way. Think back in your life, I’m sure a few come to mind pretty quickly.  When you think of these people and situations, does your blood boil? Does your heart rate pick up? Does your breathing become more rapid? If you don’t feel anything but a sense of calm…congratulations, you have forgiven and have moved on!  If you do feel some of these negative emotions…then you are carrying a grudge!  Sometimes that person can even be ourselves,  a relative, or God.

Why do we hold onto grudges?  It certainly doesn’t make us feel good.  In fact, it is a huge, heavy stress ball that we lug around day after day.  It weighs us down, it makes us angry and mean, it steals our joy, it makes us bitter and unapproachable and ugly.  I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “Not forgiving someone is like drinking poison and wishing for the other person to die”.  How silly is that!? Not forgiving is a very damaging thing for you, your health, and everyone you come in contact with. It carries with it Fear, Guilt, Anger, Regret. Sadness, Hurt, Blame, Resentment, Revenge, Ill-Will, and a number of other negative emotions.  These negative emotions promote and cause disease…”Dis-Ease”!

When I meet someone, I can immediately tell if they are holding a grudge. It comes out in their attitude, their body language, their facial expressions, and their tone of voice.  There is an air about them that is not pleasing.  I do not find myself drawn to these types of people…they tend to repel without even knowing why.

Why do most people not want to forgive? It’s because our ego and our pride get involved, and we think that if we forgive and move on that we are giving up on our principles, throwing in the towel, condoning their behavior. This is not true at all.  If we forgive, we are free!  We allow ourselves to move forward, to move toward joy, and to live our lives!  Don’t let someone rob you of your joy!  Don’t give other people the power to make you their puppet.

Here is a Forgiveness Affirmation that I think is very powerful.  If you struggle with forgiveness, write this down, keep it with you, and say it often.  Feel the Love in it…as Love is the most powerful emotion of all!

I am willing to Forgive.

Forgiveness of myself and others releases me from the past.

Forgiveness is the answer to almost every problem.

Forgiveness is a gift to myself.

I Forgive, and I set myself free.

The past is over and done.  We cannot change that now,  Yet, we can change our thoughts about the past.  How foolish for us to PUNISH OURSELVES in the present moment because someone hurt us in the past.

We understand our pain so well!  But we need to realize that the person we most need to forgive was also in pain.  We need to understand that they were doing the best they could with the understanding, awareness, and knowledge they had at that time. Here is another affirmation that will set us free:

“I forgive you for not being the way I wanted you to be.  I forgive you and I set you free.”

Forgive yourself, forgive others, and you will be FREE to LIVE and LOVE and experience JOY!






  1. The hurts in my life seem to vanish when I truly forgive… But I find it hard sometimes to forgive when I can’t fathom the behavior I’m trying to forgive. Why must I be able to understand, to “walk in their shoes” or “see things from THEIR prospective” to forgive them? Letting go and being able to forgive any circumstance is hard to do.

    I’m still learning…

  2. Gigi Peterson says:

    Wow! This applies to my situation that we discussed today at our Kate’s Cup table. Thank you for putting it so clearly. Thanks for having such great insight.

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