Come From a Place of Love

This week, three different people came to me for advice. They all had unique circumstances, but they all had a common theme: They wanted to know how to repair a relationship. One person wasn’t speaking to her daughter, one person had a business communication breakdown, and the other person had a conflict with a friend. These all carried with them a wide array of negative emotions. These emotions ranged anywhere from sadness to being straight up pissed off! I know you can relate because we all have been on this emotional spectrum when dealing with relationships. Do you currently have a relationship that needs to be repaired?

Each one asked me how they should solve their conflict, and how to approach the other person. Each one wanted to solve the issue and not just leave it weighing on their shoulders. That is such an awful feeling, knowing that there is tension and an unresolved issue between you and someone else isn’t it? It all boils down to communication. If we are communicating clearly, usually these things will work out to everyone’s benefit. But there was another ingredient to these situations, in that the other person was not communicating rationally or not at all. What do you do then?

All three of these people needed to approach the situation from a place of love.
What does that mean? Well, usually when we are in a conflict with someone, our ego is leading the way. We meet the other person with anger and resentment and hurt feelings, with our heels firmly dug in. When we come from a place of love, we are better able to see the other person’s side and we are more open to compassion and resolve.

It’s hard to see someone’s point of view when looking at the situation through angry eyes. When we come from a place of love, we can get to the bottom of it all with grace and understanding. We are better able to understand the underlying issues that come masked as bitterness, hurtful words, and actions. These negative emotions are usually a reaction to a deeper issue. There can be fear, jealousy, and entitlement lying just under the surface which tends to come out in ugly ways.

When you are in a conflict, you need to ask yourself, “What do I not want/like”? Once you fully understand what you do not want/like, then you can turn it around and ask yourself, “If this is what I do not want/like, then what is it that I do I want/like”?

Example: “I do not want to be estranged from my daughter. Therefore, I do want to have a close and healthy relationship with my daughter.” Now you can approach your daughter with this in mind, coming from a place of love instead of not. This will enable you to communicate what you want without casting blame, guilt, and anger…which will only aggravate your issue.

Remember…You are only responsible for your actions, not anybody else’s…meaning you can’t predict or control their reaction to you approaching them, even if you do it from a place of love.

Take Action: This week and moving forward, let’s resolve these relationship issues while coming from a place of love. Let’s put our ego aside and communicate with compassion and work towards a win/win situation. Let’s be the bigger person and approach someone we have a problem with and work to resolve it!

Because Together is Better,

Comments

  1. What a great article! Love this quote: “It’s hard to see someone’s point of view when looking at the situation through angry eyes. When we come from a place of love, we can get to the bottom of it all with grace and understanding.” When people begin to see how ego stands in their way, then real progress can begin! Super post Deanna!

  2. This is a good blueprint for resolving conflicts Deanna. Many times we allow ego to dictate how we try to mend fences but love will always get better results.

  3. What a great topic and one that needs to go around the world! I truly believe by communicating from a place of love that the amount of violence would decrease dramatically! So glad you wrote this, believe this and live by this way of being 🙂

  4. Beautifully written, Deanna. And so true. So important to come from a heart and soul space and not an ego standpoint.

  5. Sometimes the strongest weapon is love.

  6. Marjory Johnson says:

    I love reading your posts because they are full of information that is truly helpful.

  7. Jim Striegel says:

    Great post with valuable information to move ahead in relationships.

  8. Stephanie Clopton says:

    I really like reading this and your suggestions about how to move on and heal.

  9. Lisa Hodges says:

    This is so very true about releasing emotions first.

    • Lisa, I like that as well. We so often get into a “discussion” when we are still angry and not calm…that’s when disaster comes. Thank you for your comment! -Deanna

  10. Your words of wisdom are exactly what I needed. Thank you for the reminder!

  11. Sometimes it can get frustrating when two people do not agree, but I have learned from being married to my husband for the past 9 years, it is important to have proper communication with one another to resolve conflicts:)

  12. Communicating with love and respect is definitely the key to resolving conflict. Thanks for the reminder!

  13. Great advice as always! Coming from a place of love as opposed to a place of resentment can definitely help a lot! 🙂 Thanks for sharing!

  14. Love the idea of coming from a place of love. I completely agree that this is the best approach.

  15. This is so true and so very wise. If you approach every situation with love, an open ear and an open heart you can resolve almost any conflict.

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