Conflict and Communication

Conflict happens all around us and to the best of us. It comes in many forms and it cannot be avoided at times. Sometimes, the conflict is with other people, and often times it is really just with yourself…because it is all in your mind. I have found myself in some different forms of conflict lately, and it sure has been an eye-opener to many great lessons. I have been involved in three different conflicts; two of them were things I needed to clear up with other people. And one was a conflict inside my own head!

 Have you ever been in several unrelated conflicts?

Sometimes the conflict is just a huge misunderstanding, and with that, good old fashioned communication will put everything back in order. If you are able to find the lesson and repair the relationship then the conflict was worth it. If the issue at hand is ignored and you fester over it, then the conflict will stay alive. If not with all parties involved, then it will surely be alive and well inside your own head. Have you ever thought you were in a conflict with someonebut it was really only in your head? The other person didnt even know there was a problemI know I have. That is the worst kind of conflict, because you continue to make up stories and you continue stewing, while the other person is going on their merry way!

How do you deal and cope with conflict?
Do you meet it head on?
Do you avoid it and pretend it isn
t there?
Do you think about it and talk about it and therefore perpetuate it?


Back to the lessons I learned with the latest conflicts. Like I said, if you look for the lesson, you will find it, and then you can be at peace. If you think you are infallible and not at fault, then there will be no lesson learned or growth attained….and the same conflicts will keep affecting you.

 Lessons:

1) Sometimes conflicts are all dreamed up in our mind. This is a huge one, because we can take a situation or a relationship and dream up a not-so-pleasant scenario in our mind….maybe from here-say or our misinterpretation of what someone said or did. If we don’t communicate and straighten it out, it can grow into an ugly monster!

2) When there truly is a conflict, whether you are at fault or not, it is best to approach it head on and get it all out on the table. When we sweep it under the rug, resentment tends to build, and nobody wins. The longer you wait, the harder it is to confront!

3) When you know you are in the wrong, it is the courageous and the right thing to do to apologize and ask for forgiveness. Thinking it will just go away is never a good idea, because it doesn’t just go away. It will hang over your head until you clear the air.

These conflicts and these lessons all have one thing in common: communication. If we are not willing to communicate then we cannot and will not move past the conflict. I know some people who have hung onto conflicts for years and years. Is there some conflict in your life that you need to resolve or let go? Unresolved conflict causes stress and dis-ease…but that topic is for another time.

Take action: This week and moving forward, let’s clear up any conflict that is in our lives. Let’s openly communicate our faults and ask for forgiveness. Let’s approach people who have done us wrong with love and grace. Let’s move forward in peace and cope with conflict so there will be no weight on our shoulders!

Because Together is Better,

Comments

  1. I’m constantly trying to clear up conflicts in my life, it definitely helps to have good karma.

  2. Great article – so many people (myself included I have to admit) will do anything to avoid conflict that they allow things to escalate rather than dealing with it at the time and setting good boundaries. With all of the differences between us humans it’s unrealistic to expect us to be conflict free – the key, as you say, it to be able to handle it.

  3. This article has perfect timing for me. Lesson two was actually applied this week and helped to clear a conflict that had been smoldering almost two years. 🙂

  4. I have always just met any conflict head on. It may not always work out in the best way for me, but it is dealt with quickly.

  5. This is an awesome article! We are all put in situations like this at one time or another. Coming out graceful is what I aim for and I try to give the other person or situation the benefit of the doubt.

    Y. Brown

  6. I couldn’t agree with you more.
    Ego is one big stumbling block

  7. Glenda kay says:

    Great insight and advice, thanks for the article.

  8. Very great information about communication. I know I’m guilty of not doing it well, but still learning!

  9. What a great article and love the quote. Communication has many faucets and I feel you must clear the air to and in certain times to move on.

  10. I always think communication is 1 to solve any conflict and to stop a conflict from being created. It is interesting what you say about creating your own conflict in your mind though…I have definitely been guilty of doing that before.:)

  11. Conflict cannot always be avoided also communication is a two way process. Be an active listener. Let the other person know your that you understand his/her thoughts moreover conflict usually involves strong emotions and even anger therefore be calm.

  12. Absolutely communication is the key. Like you said, sometimes the conflict is just in our head. If we communicate we can become clear! Thanks for the good advice.

  13. Dave Sanchez says:

    Thank you! This was most enlightening.
    Communicating early, with others & self, will surely help restore peace,
    Cheers! Dave

  14. Conflict is one of those things that most people would rather avoid. And I totally agree that a lot of it is cooked up in our heads! I know I’m pretty good at that one!

  15. It is so true that sometimes the conflict is all in your head. I appreciate your advice and plan to get resolution this week. Communication is important in any relationship; friend, boyfriend/girlfriend, spouse, family member, etc.
    I pledge to get some old issues resolved through communication this week.

  16. I love the quote and excellent post. Not addressing issues when they first arise makes them smolder and worsen until they explode at a later time.

  17. There are many different types of conflict. Many can be cleared up by communication, and sometimes it’s best to just leave it alone. Some people are bullies, or they are in a position themselves where they are not ready to handle the cause of the conflict due to emotional stress, internal conflict, or maybe just immaturity. In these cases, communicating may make a situation worse. Discernment is the key.

  18. Very great read! As a counselor, conflict is the result of bad communication. You cannot avoid a problem…sometimes you have to go through the mountain to get to the other side..Forgiveness is healing and it allows both parties to move on…

  19. Don’t hate conflict. Face it and clear it up!
    And yess INDEED communication is the best way to make it clear.

  20. oh…an issue close to my heart recently. You hit it right on in all the different areas. If only we could lead ourselves with logic more than emotion. Something not easy for me, but definitely worth the outcome:) Thanks lovely friend:)

  21. Another great one. I can especially relate to the conflicts I make up in my head.

  22. Boy, you are right on target this week! Yes, communication is KEY. Sweeping issues under the carpet is NOT going to help anything. It will only delay the inevitable and make it worse. Clearing the air, as you say, is healthy and will definitely prevent disease (dis-ease), even if it is painful, or uncomfortable at the time. Keeping our bodies, minds, and emotions healthy is the best way to live to the fullest.

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