From Victim to Victor

We all have our reasons to be and feel like a Victim. We have all been through situations that seem unfair and have had a negative effect on our lives. We all have had regrets and wished we could go back in time and change things. I am right there with you. I have had my fair share of feeling like a victim in my life. When I was in college, I decided that feeling like a victim and acting like a victim no longer served me. I wanted to prosper and to become a victor. I no longer wanted the negative situations (I call these “Negative Nasties”) in my life to control me, my thoughts, actions, and words. I took charge of my life. Are you ready to do the same?

I began writing this blog three years ago so that I could help people look at life differently. I write so that I can help people shift their mindset and be the best they can be. It is so very easy to get caught up in “Our Story”. This is the story we tell others repeatedly. This is the story of a hurtful past that we can’t let go of. This is the story we relive daily in our minds and in the words we speak. Well, guess what? We have the power and the choice to rewrite our story. We can take that story and instead of being the victim, we can be the victor! We get to glean the lessons from this story; we get to put our own music to this story. We get to come out of this story with new character traits and an appreciation for the people who played a role in this story. Doesn’t that feel empowering to you?

Following is a poem that I read often.
It describes the way I try to live my life.
It is so easy to play the victim and to wallow in those feelings
Is that really and truly how you want to live your life?

I mentioned above that in college I decided to live like a victor. I want you to know that it didn’t happen magically overnight. It took years of hard work and counseling. But my life was important enough to me to dig out of that victim role I was playing. Through this work I learned so many great techniques and exercises to help me along my healing journey. I write my blog posts and record my “Mindset Minutes” so that I can help you along your healing journey. A couple of years ago, I created an eBook that is an interactive workbook. I have received so much wonderful feedback that I want to share this with you as well. If you or someone you know wants to get out of that victim role, I encourage you to download this eBook and work through your “Negative Nasties”.

Just click on the Book Below to Download.

Take Action: This week and moving forward, let’s work through our “Negative Nasties” so that we may no longer play the role of victim! Let’s be empowered by our past and rewrite our stories! Let’s shift our Mindset. Let’s move from Victim to Victor!

Because Together is Better,


  1. Really a great article…Deanna this is a very nice poem also…

  2. You have just reinforced my thoughts for the day. Great post and I m going to print out this poem. Thank you so much!!!

  3. Deanna this poem is excellent and what a great reminder. Like you I became the writer I always dreamed of being and stepped into my passionate purpose. It’s all up to us to make choices and decisions that support our highest and greatest good!

  4. I appreciate knowing that other women, too, are on this journey of shifting our thoughts so we can shift out of a victim mindset. Louise Hay’s books have really helped me with this, and it’s wonderful to see more and more people writing about it. Thanks for describing your own path and successes.

    • Thank you Chara! I love Louise Hay as well. She is a master of shifting your mindset, I have learned a lot from her books. I appreciate you being here and sharing! -Deanna

  5. I think the whole victimization mode is taught — at least I know it was for me because my Dad presented himself as a victim all of my life. It seemed natural to blame the world around me whenever something went wrong. I’m so glad that I realized what I was doing and have shifted into a mindset of living the life I desire because I choose to make it so! Thanks for the wonderful post and reminder!

    • Sheila, that is such a wonderful thing that you were able to see the role of victim played out in your home and change that in yourself. All too often, we repeat and pass down those emotional reactions that do not serve us well. -Deanna

  6. Thanks so much for sharing your heart and for sharing this wonderful poem. To change our lives we need to change our thoughts and learn to look at the world from a different perspective. We’ve had the power all along.

    • Shelley, I love that, “We’ve had the power all along”! So many people do not believe this. They think they are the victim of circumstance. I love to see people becoming empowered to live a full life! Thank you for your wise words. -Deanna

  7. Hi Deanna,

    The poem is a mantra at our dojo. As I was going through the ranks to black belt, I’d often receive a postcard from my Sensei telling me how well I did in class and that poem was printed on the postcard.

    “Whether you think you can or cannot…you are right.” Henry Ford

    I, too, shed my victim status early on. I was 19 when I joined the US Air Force and the day I left home I decided to live by three principles: Integrity. Excellence. Optimism. Now, I’m 50 and those principles have kept the Negative Nelly’s far away.


    Vanquish Fear. Slay Doubt. Be Fabulous.

    • Peggy, thank you for sharing your story with us. I love that you went through something and decided where you wanted to go! So empowering to hear! I also love that quote from Henry Ford…it is so true! -Deanna

  8. That is such a great poem. I have seen it before and really like the meaning. Thanks for this post.

  9. you’re so right, feeling like a victim doesn’t serve us at all – it just keeps us small and away from our true greatness. I give myself permission to feel sorry for myself when things go wrong – but I put a time limit on it (10 minutes maybe for something trivial, a day if it’s really bad) – it works for me. thank you for all of your positive posts.

    • Jo, giving yourself permission to feel sorry for yourself is really great! We are made to feel different emotions, it is only painful and unhealthy when we dwell there. Thank you for your wise words. -Deanna

  10. Congratulations, Deanna ! Great to bring out a book! Me too, years ago i complained as a victom until i became conscious it was my little ego that wants attention from others, in need of Energy. Now my whole life has changed. Me too i wrote a book and i am correcting or i try to enhancing the writing errors, not so easy.

    I write my book in 3 languages of Europe, English, French and Dutch.

    If there would be some one who had time to help me enchance the English errors, this would be very GREAT ! Let me know please: My thanks in advance. ! !

    Hilde Plasman (Belgium).

    • Thank you Hilde for sharing your story with us. It is a great journey to come out the other side of feeling like a victim! -Deanna

  11. Awesome poem! a very inspiring to be read of. Thank you for sharing!

  12. Great poem! That is so awesome that you were able to recreate your mentality and change having a victim mentality. It is so awesome that you put your effort and strength into helping others. I admire that! 🙂

    • Thank you so much Daniele! Please feel free to forward the link to this helpful book to anyone you think will benefit! -Deanna

  13. Thank goodness we have such post as this. I have known some of victim and it’s a pleasure to share this.

  14. A very nice poem, thank you for sharing it and your story

  15. I can actually relate to this a lot. When I found out my husband was having an affair with my best friend, I felt like a victim…and for a while until I got over feeling like that and overcame it! I am not the victor while they suffer.

    • Jennifer, that is so great that you were able to feel like a victim and then grow from the experience to become the victor! Bravo! -Deanna

  16. Marjory Johnson says:

    Choosing is such a big part and having the strength is another.

    • Marjory, you are right…choosing and having the strength are too different things. It is not an easy road, but boy it is so much better in the other side! -Deanna

  17. Lisa Hodges says:

    It’s unfortunate that some people become victims when they are most vulnerable. Glad positive posts like yours can help them.

    • I agree Lisa, that the vulnerable can be victimized. It is especially unfair when it is a child. Butm when we become an adult, we have the power to reclaim our life and make it what we want it to be! -Deanna

  18. Jim Striegel says:

    It is sad that anyone is even put in this position.

    • Yes, Jim, it is sad…but it occurs more often then we even realize. To take you life back is very empowering and it is our right. -Deanna

  19. Awesome article and great advice. We are not what happened to us in the past – we can control who we are in the present and our futures.

    • Laurel, you said a mouthful, and I agree with you! Anyone can remain the victim, but it is so wonderful to get out of that role! -Deanna

  20. Great article! So many people get stuck in the Victim mode which doesn’t serve them well.

    • Shari, I agree that being a victim does not serve anyone well. It is very comfortable for many people, but it is not healthy! -Deanna

  21. I love this… one of the best motivational blogs iv’e seen!

  22. Thank you for reminding us that we choose our destiny!

  23. Daddy G says:

    I have this very poem framed and hanging on the wall of my office. It has been a long time since I read it, but the other day I noticed that our teenage daughter also has it taped up on the wall of her bedroom – how uplifting it was to see that!

    • I agree, it is so very uplifting to see our teenaged daughter with this on her wall. Our mindset and perspective is so important and powerful…especially during those crucial and emotional teenaged years! -Deanna

  24. That is an excellent poem every section is so true

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