Love is a Decision

About a year ago, my husband told me he wanted to get a new puppy. It had almost been a year since our sweet Australian Shepherd, Chicky, had passed on. He was ready. I was not. Although I missed Chicky, I was really enjoying the house not being hairy and not having to smell her and her food, and not dealing with the dog poop. I was also getting quite use to the freedom of coming and going and travelling without having to make plans for Chicky. My thinking was this: We had always had a dog but that doesn’t mean that we always have to have a dog, does it? Why can’t we just enjoy this new season of our dog-less lives?

Well, when you are in a relationship, sometimes you need to compromise to keep the peace. This was a time when I had to put my husband’s needs before my own. I am a little stubborn (well maybe a lot stubborn) and I usually get what I want…so making this sacrifice was hard for me. I had a wall up. While my husband was doing his research and looking at breeders, I was quietly hoping he would change his mind.

My attitude was not serving me or my marriage well.

At some point, I made a decision to stop resisting and pushing back. I decided to jump in with both feet…if not for the love of a new puppy…then for the love of my husband. I decided to love this puppy and bond with her. I decided to look beyond the hair, the smells, the potty training frustrations, and the aggravations. I decided to love this puppy with all my heart and to have a great attitude about the whole situation. I am so glad I did, as I have such a special love for our new Moxy. The love and friendship I now have with her outweighs all the irritants, because I decided to love instead of not.


Love is a decision. It truly is.

This is true in any relationship. In any relationship, there will be things that annoy you. There will be times when you think it is more trouble than not. Nobody is perfect, and we all go through times when we think that our efforts are not worth it. The feeling of love will ebb and flow. Love is a decision that we make each and every day. We can decide to be bitter and focus on all the things that irritate us…or we can decide to focus on all the great qualities in our partner, spouse, friend, family, and even our pets. When we decide to love, our whole world opens up to receive more love.


Take Action: This week and moving forward, let’s all practice love. Let’s take our focus off the things that irritate us in our relationships and put our focus on all the reasons we love this person or animal. Let’s be aware of the shift that takes place when we do this…let’s feel the love!

Because Together is Better,

Comments

  1. Joseph Beaudoin says:

    I was so glad to find “Me to the power of We.” Since Marriage Encounter 38 years ago I’ve tried to tell people that love is a decision. That the opposite of love is sin, a negative decision for relationship. I’ve also tried to convince people that love is not a feeling but it does create feelings which are not right or wrong but are simply a reaction.to who you are and therefore precious.
    > I’m hoping that people will see how feelings are who you are and therefore more precious than anything. Whenever I decide to develop an attitude of gratitude for someones feelings I always am overwhelmed as to how much a gift they are.

  2. You are such an inspiration, Deanna! I had made the same decision some months ago when we got a puppy – I was the only one in the family that wasn’t so crazy with the idea… But I did it anyway, at the time I said it was for my dear family. I like so much how you put it though, more powerful when you say “love is a decision”.

    Thanks for your awesome posts every week!

    • Delia, thank you so very much for your kind words. I love that you experienced the same thing as I did and came out the other end with love in your heart. It is so empowering! I appreciate you being here. -Deanna

  3. I love the quote that you included in this post. I read a book of the same title, Love is a Decision, by Gary Smalley several years go. He says that love is a verb, not an emotion. Relationships with others can be difficult and I have certainly come across people who I have had to ‘decide’ to love.

  4. Such a thought provoking post. Love it!! Sometimes it is so hard to put those little things that annoy us about someone, especially someone close to us aside and just love them. I too am stubborn and know that some days I just have to give in to love and let go of those little things. Thanks for writing this post and sharing.

    • Thank you Mandee for sharing your thoughts here. It is sometimes hard to let go and love when we are being stubborn…but boy is it worth it! -Deanna

  5. Yes to loving more as it brings, more joy, more love, more peace, more abundance, more awareness- wow it also makes one feel good. This week I will focus on loving me more so I can be a beacon of light for others tp ignite from
    Thank you

  6. This is wonderful and timely. My goal is to love more and judge less.

  7. Love is a DECISION. I think we sometimes forget that. Thanks for the reminder!

  8. Love is a decision, unconditional too!
    That was great reading!!

  9. Truly enjoyed reading this post. Love is so much easier than hate!

  10. This is so true, for me it was cats. I did not like cats, but my wife did. So when we got married I knew I had to accept her and her cats, just like her daughter. Well I have found the love of those cats is unconditional. That is well worth any bad things.

  11. I totally agree with you, Sacrifices makes the marriage survive. Great blog!!

    • Thank you Richard. It is so easy to dig your heels in, but where does that ultimately get us? A good question to ask ourselves periodically. Thank you for being here! -Deanna

  12. Beautiful quote to remind us that love is the answer!

  13. Casey Gardner says:

    Your quote by Martin Luther King goes great with your heartfelt article. Good Job and enjoy your new addition.

  14. Jim Striegel says:

    It is so hard for some of us to move forward by taking in another pet. I think you made a great choice!

  15. Jeff Brand says:

    What a wonderful and honest from your heart post!

  16. I do believe that love is a decision. Some people seem to think that if love doesnt overtake them, then they are not in love. Love is one foot in front of the other.

    • Tom, I agree. The “feeling” of love is fleeting and we must make an effort to keep that alive in all of our relationships! I appreciate you being here. -Deanna

  17. Wonderful article!!!!! We recently had to put our 10 year old ‘baby’ down…it was such a hard thing to do. I can completely relate to everything you were feeling, yet, unconditional love pets give is something that shouldn’t be left out of our lives. When we’re ready, we’ll rescue another ‘angel’ and have that love in our home from another dog. We still have our 12 year old Pom, so we get a daily dose of unconditional love….it’s wonderful!

    • David, it is always hard to say goodby to our pets. It is a vulnerable position to love someone or a pet unconditionally, because of the heartbreak that may come. Thank you for sharing with us! -Deanna

  18. I agree, we are on the same wavelength. Love this article, so glad you shared it. Looking up at Dov’s comment, I realize that everything is a decision. Love. Forgiveness. Acceptance. May we/you/us all continue to make positive decisions, because when we don’t or when we forget there are a million habitual negative decisions just waiting to jump into the forefront.

    So much appreciation for you!
    Sue

  19. Well well well, And all this time I thought it was YOU who wanted another dog! I was just going along with it because I knew how much YOU love having a dog around! :~)

    Well, your love is sure reciprocated because you are CLEARLY Moxie’s favorite person!

    Thanks my dear

  20. Great post and such a cute puppy! Of course your heart melted! In our house, it is I that wants all the animals………. and my husband, for the most part, deals with it. Have a great day!

  21. I completely agree with you! Love is definitely best said with actions and not words. When we take the time to put thought into our actions, we’re making a positive decision to do something good for someone – to put someone else before ourselves. I love stories like the one you shared above! It perfectly illustrates how deciding and putting someone else’s needs above our own often comes back to bless us! You did that and now you have beautiful Moxy and more love than you had before you made the decision to love. Thank you for sharing your story and for the beautiful reminder to not just say the words “I love you” but to show it instead by putting it into action and our practices.

    • Marcia, your wise words make me smile. I feel like whenever I put someone before me and truly practice love, it always is a win-win situation. I appreciate you being here! -Deanna

  22. I really do love this blog. I have watched you be true to every step of this process with Moxy, and I admire the true love you have developed for her in spite of any “challenges” having a dog may pose. And she loves you and your family so much that she just wants to crawl right under your skin…HA!!! All joking aside, she really is special and sweet. What a great lesson that applies to so many situations. Thanks D!!!

  23. Wonderful post! I can relate to you on this because about a year ago my fiance and I rescued a shepherd mix puppy from one of our local shelters. As much as I love him, he was a lot of work, as puppies tend to be. A few months later we were down in Myrtle Beach and my fiance wanted another puppy, a chocolate lab. He said that our first puppy needed a playmate and that he always dreamed of having a chocolate lab. Being that these dogs are very expensive, the price was right in this case, and he fell in love. I was angry for a while because having one puppy is hard enough and the thought of having two was a nightmare. I can honestly say now that it is the best thing that we could have done. Our first puppy is a year old now and our second is about 7 months and they are the best of friends. Not only do they love each other, but they love us and we love them. We also got very lucky with our second puppy because he ended up being a lot easier to train than the first and he has always been better behaved. Congratulations on your new editions and you are right! Love is the way to go!

    • Amanda, I just love this story, thank you so much for sharing it with us! I love that your story turned out well also. Love is a very powerful thing, isn’t it? Thank you for your comment. -Deanna

  24. Great advice!!!! I think Mr. Peterson could have written those same words about Buster! IT was truly the worst year of our 22 year marriage until Mr. P decided to “love” Buster.

    • Oh Jill, I did not know that he was not on board with the new dog. Yes, we all need to make some sacrifices for the love and peace of all involved. Thank you for being here. -Deanna

  25. Loving feelings must be translated into loving, caring behaviors. You demonstrated your love for your husband by deciding to love a new dog. And look what happened, a shift takes place when we put love into action…WE feel the love!

    • Barbara, you are so correct! What we put out there comes back to us tenfold. This is just one example. A great lesson. Thank you for your wise words. -Deanna

  26. I applaud you for deciding to compromise on this. It would be harder for me, but love like you said, is more than just a feeling….. It’s something you do with your actions; your head.

    • Thank you Veronica! Yes, making a decision like this is hard sometimes, especially for someone who is stubborn like me…but the payoff far outweighs the sacrifice. I appreciate you being here. -Deanna

  27. Dov Shapira says:

    I agree that ‘Love is a decision’
    I think we have instinct of loving but that in not enough, that can turn around and get ugly.

    I may add that forgiveness is also a decision.
    Thank you for sharing.

    • I love your comment Dov! I agree, that forgiveness can fall into that category as well. We need to make a decision to do these things, and not wait until they turn ugly as you say! -Deanna

  28. Thank you so very much for sharing this post! -Deanna

Trackbacks

  1. […] On Sunday (Feb. 9th), Deanna of Me To The Power of We published this excellent post: Love Is A Decision – My comment to her on this post really sums up why I loved it so much and am featuring it […]

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