Trust in the Process of Life

Have you ever been in a place in your life where you feel stuck? Have you ever wondered why your path went a certain way and not another? Do you walk through life dragging your regrets right along with you? Do you question your past and doubt your future? Well, you are in good company and certainly not alone. Most people have floundered at one time or another. Not everyone is happy with their past and many people are uncertain of their future. So, what can we do about this fact so that we can have Trust in the Process of Life and fully live in the present?

We must realize that if we are constantly living in regret and guilt and shame about our past, then we will continue to attract more of those unwanted situations into our future. We need to make peace with our past and then we can allow ourselves to move forward in health.


 I know some of you may be thinking, “That’s easier said than done.” “How can I make peace with my past?”, “You don’t know how awful my childhood was.”, “I’ve made so many poor decisions!”

 I know how you feel.
I have abuse in my past.
I have done numerous things that I regret.

Although the memories never go away…I assure you that you can heal and move forward in a healthy way. We can always decide to get help so that we may heal from our past hurts and mistakes. Sometimes it is an easy mind shift, and other times it takes a lot of hard work and counseling…but this is your life!

It is ultimately your choice whether you want to be a victim or a victor!

We all have the ability to reflect. Most of us reflect on the negative situations in our life and we tend to get stuck there and dwell on the mishaps. It is somehow oddly comforting there. But, if we can look at the negative situations in our lives with an open mind, we will learn great lessons from our experiences.

We can always find the value in any situation if we look hard enough. We see what we want to see. Here’s an example: My parents divorced when I was six years old. It was emotional and ugly at times. Throughout my life, I can recall feeling envious of my friends who still had their parents married. I would often wonder how my life would have been better had I grown up in a “Traditional” family situation. I was angry at them and at the situation. I blamed my parents divorce on some of the negative choices I made in my life. All of that is normal, but very unhealthy. It is a victim mentality.

When I was in college, I finally took ownership of my life. I was able to look at that same situation, among others, with an open mind and heart. You see, our paths take us where we need to go so that we will build certain character traits and learn certain lessons. Through that childhood experience I learned to be flexible, to adapt, to embrace change, and to cherish time with my family.


I have come to realize that being grateful for my parent’s divorce is much healthier for me than resenting it. We can feel that way about any negative situation we are still hauling around. We can see the goodness in the hardships and become better for enduring them. We can choose a beautiful life no matter what is in our past.

Take Action: This week and moving forward, lets take a look at our negative and hurtful past and make peace with it. Lets heal and find the lessons there. Lets not dwell in the past and keep reliving those ugly memories.instead lets celebrate all we gained from them and trust in the process of life!

Because Together is Better,

Comments

  1. Deanna, great reminder! I spent the majority of my twenty’ sand early thirties self-sabotaging because of the baggage of the past. It wasn’t until I awakened to the truth that carrying all that baggage was a CHOICE… So one day I made a new choice and released it. One of the things I consistently remind women is that ‘your past does not define your future -your thoughts and actions do!” Thx for sharing

  2. Great modeling, Deanna! Embracing the past for the lesson is so much healthier than letting it hurt you over and over again. Blessings to you!

  3. So relevant for me right now… so hard and yet so important. Thank you for the reminder. <3

  4. LOVE this Deanna. I have NO regrets because I realized everything happened precisely the way it was supposed to in order to lead me to where I am now. So many lessons learned and everything to prepare me for living the life of my dreams, a life I CHOSE to create instead of trying to direct based on the past and views of an unknown future. Bravo!

  5. I like the way you think. Everyone faces heartache at some point so the message that we can “heal and move forward in a healthy way” is an important one. Thanks for sharing.

  6. It is great to realize that life is what we make it. We tend to rely on outside influences, to only be disappointed with the outcome. I am now taking hold of my life and planning for a bright future!

  7. So true! Reliving the past is like re-traumatizing yourself. Staying with “what is” and being grateful is the key to moving forward. Great post.

  8. Great advice – it’s easy to blame disappointments and failures on your past, but once you look at life from a different view it becomes so much brighter and fulfilling! What a great article!

  9. Dov Shapira says:

    The past will always be there, the question is how do we deal with it.
    This is very inspirational article and I love every word of it 🙂

  10. I’ve been wondering if at least for women it’s an age thing… It seems that me like most of my girlfriends in our thirties have been battling with trusting that we are where we should be and we’ll go where we are supposed to go. Thus making it a sore point where the emotions from the past also take out of control proportions. Thank you for your insight.

  11. Past experiences and failures shape who we are right now and it’s good to hear that people can really make a good out of it (if he/she wishes). I salute those who already did and encourage those who’re on their way.

  12. Jim Striegel says:

    I am a believer in letting the past go and moving forward one step at a time with room for improvement always.

  13. Marjory Johnson says:

    I have learned to leave the past in the past and only take the knowledge from it to grow.

  14. Thank you for these inspirational words. I agree that we learn from the past but we cannot dwell there either. I’ll definitely try to follow your Take Action advice!

  15. Stephanie Clopton says:

    I really enjoyed reading your blog and your inspirational quotes.

  16. Traci Henegar says:

    I’ve tried to learn and not dwell on the past. Great post

  17. Trust in the process is certainly the best approach Deanna. Happily you figured it out during your college years as many remain tangled in the victim mentality well after that. It may seem facile but those feeling sorry for themselves can always benefit from reflecting on others who are victims of war, disease, tyranny and grinding poverty. Easier said than done but necessary nonetheless. Great post and congrats on getting it right !

  18. Great inspirational post. My faith is way bigger than my fears that’s for sure. I’ve learn to let go of the past years ago, it’s not always easy but it’s worth it.

  19. Very inspirational post. I completely agree with you. Most of us have a past, but it is important to cherish each day that we are given and use it as an opportunity to better ourselves. Nobody is perfect, but our past is what teaches us to stay strong and become the victor and not the victim in our future. Thank you for the great advice!

    • Amanda, you said it right on! Our past teaches us and it is our choice if we are the victim or the victor. Thank you for your thoughtful comment! -Deanna

  20. Great reminder on using your past as stepping stones for the future. Thanks for sharing.

  21. I didn’t have a happy childhood, too, Deanna. Yet I chose not to live on it but rather turn it into strength. It’s all in the power of the mind. Wasn’t easy but with a bit of determination, it’s doable. 🙂

  22. Thanks for your great inspirational post. I am not one to hold on to my past; I do get inspiration from it and have learned some valuable lessons that have prepared me for the future….and the present. I have to admit that I feel stuck sometimes when things aren’t working out the way I planned, but I don’t stay that way for long

    • Veronica, you are so wise. I think we all reflect on our past, and the goal is to learn and keep moving forward. If we don’t learn, those things keep appearing. Thank you for being here. -Deanna

  23. This is a great post Deanna – and so true. There is a quote that goes something like ‘holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die’ . . I believe the same is true of holding on to hurt, regret, guilt etc. It is hard, but forgiveness is key – forgive yourself, forgive those who cause these negative feelings in you. You’re not ‘letting them off the hook’ or ‘giving them a pass’ – you are healing and helping YOURSELF by letting it go! So I have found, anyway =)

    • Donna, your words are so wise and so true. When we dwell on the past, which can’t be changed, we are playing the victim. When we do this, there is no growth. I really appreciate your wisdom here! -Deanna

  24. Thank you for the such great advice. i actually get my inspirations on my past and my failures. my family keeps me get going.

    • Thank you Richard for your comment. I think if we could all learn from our past, we wouldn’t make the same mistakes or get stuck there mentally! -Deanna

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