Move Over Pride and Ego!

move over pride and ego

I have known so many people throughout my life who let their pride and ego get in the way of forgiveness. I have been one of those people at times. I'm sure you have as well. I know it is hard to forgive sometimes. It feels like it is a "give" on our part or like we are excusing the wrong behavior...but we also rationally know that hanging on to a wrong only hurts us. We are so stubborn at times. What makes us think that not forgiving someone is healthy or will do any good? Why would we think that holding on to that negative energy will hurt the other person? The energy of un-forgiveness is so very heavy. When we look at it in that light, it seems so very silly, doesn't it? We are intentionally hurting ourselves...that is so counterproductive! I know that when we are in the emotional … [Read more...]

Lose the Fear

lose the fear

Fear is quite an interesting thing. It is different for everyone and comes in all shapes and sizes. Some fear lasts a lifetime, and other fear seems to mysteriously appear out of nowhere. Fear can cover a huge spectrum; from fear of getting a splinter to fear of dying. What is fear exactly and how do we overcome it? Since fear is a personal thing, and not everyone has the same fear, how does it become ours? How can one person be afraid of heights and not be afraid of spiders? I have met people who honestly are not afraid of anything. Doesn't this make you want to learn more about fear? The notion of fear piques my interest as well. Fear is a psychosomatic response, meaning it is purely emotional and mental. This implies that it is different for everyone, depending on the individual's … [Read more...]

A Mental Experiment

mental

We put such limits on ourselves. We have these beliefs or preconceived notions that tend to control and stifle us in certain situations. I have a need to see. I do not like it when it is pitch black. I do not like being in a room with no windows. I do not like elevators. This can feel like a panic attack and sometimes manifests in the feeling of claustrophobia. This feeling is intensified when coupled with motion sickness. I believe we all feel certain things and have anxieties as a result of childhood or past experiences. We have a stamp on our subconscious that is there until we address it. My fear of not being able to see, I believe, is a result of two tragic things that occurred in my childhood: 1) My big brother (God I love him) thought it would be funny to zip me up in a … [Read more...]

Leave Your Defense On the Field

Defense

Have you noticed that the more comfortable, confident, and sure of yourself you are about something, the more it doesn't matter what others do, think, or say? What I mean, is that when you are ok with your opinions, beliefs, desires, etc…the less you have to convince others that your point of view is correct. "Live and Let Live" comes to mind. When we are ok, I mean really ok, with how we live, what we think, what we believe, etc…The more we feel it is ok for others to do the same for themselves. I have been in a place before, where I felt I had to defend my opinions, my beliefs, and my views on something. I felt I had to convince other people that I was right in order to really feel like I was right. The fact that I had to defend it or try to make others see my side of things, made me … [Read more...]

Treat Me Like a Dog

dog

When I was in middle school, I recall a time (well, there were several times, but this one stands out) when I did something wrong. This incident stands out to me, because this was the first time I was confident enough to stand up to my dad and flex by boundary muscles. Here's what happened: My dad went out of town and I was staying with a friend of mine who lived just down the street. During my dad's leave, my friend and I snuck into my home one night, along with a few other friends, and had a little "party". Being dumb teenagers, we did not cover our tracks very well. We left the house a disaster, leaving evidence of our night everywhere. When my Dad returned home, "All Hell Broke Loose". My dad was so mad at me! I disrespected him and our home. I betrayed his trust. I let him … [Read more...]

Lose Control

control

Have you ever noticed that whenever people feel mad, frustrated, sad, guilty, disappointed, and so on…that it seems to stem from something else that's bothering them, maybe a deeper issue? It actually stems from their need to control something or someone. The need to Control is based in Fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of the outcome, fear of failure, fear of letting someone down, fear of a missed opportunity, etc. Think back to the last time you felt one of these negative emotions. What was it all about? If you dig to the root of it all, it is because you were trying to control something or someone that you could not control. If you are frustrated about the traffic, it's because you want everyone to move out of your way. If you are angry because your toddler isn't minding you, it's because … [Read more...]

Leap of Faith

Leap of Faith

How many times have you been presented with an opportunity that was awesome, but at the same time it made you feel terrified? It could be as simple as being invited to an amusement park as a child (awesome), but getting on that roller coaster made your palms sweat, your heart speed up, and the urge to use the bathroom almost unavoidable (terrified). Maybe you were excited about getting a great job (awesome), but the interview process made you wither (terrified). What about wanting to date that really special boy (awesome), but when he finally asked you out you were a bundle of nerves (terrified)? We all have been there. We want good and fun things in our lives, and sometimes when opportunities for them arrive, we are not mentally prepared. Our nerves kick in. We feel unworthy or … [Read more...]

Just Start

Just Start

This week, from emails, to Facebook, to bumper stickers...everywhere I look I keep getting the same message to "Just Start". Maybe it's because of my ongoing To-Do list, or my goal sheet hanging above my desk, or all the ideas swirling around in my head...but this message, "Just Start" keeps nudging me. Maybe you can relate: When you have multiple things you want to accomplish, it's hard to know where to begin. Sometimes it can be so overwhelming that you just don't do any of the things on your To-Do list. It can cause anxiety and procrastination and a total shut down. It seems to be easier to just get though the day to day items, like brushing your teeth, getting the kids to school, and making dinner. Never mind the extra errands, the additional piles, and your dreams and … [Read more...]

Your Attitude Determines How High You Can Fly

cloud nine

The two phrases, "Down in the Dumps" and "Floating on Cloud Nine" are quite the opposite, and carry with them some really powerful meanings! Both phrases begin with your attitude towards something or someone. If you are feeling down in the dumps; it means you are feeling low-spirited or melancholy. If you are feeling like you are on cloud nine, you are in a state of total euphoria. Both of these extremes are driven by emotions. Our emotions are driven by our thoughts. Our thoughts are driven by our attitude. They are all interrelated, and cause an upward or downward spiral. We all can get down in the dumps at some point in our lives. Things happen that cause us to feel some depressed emotions. That is a very normal occurrence, and can happen to anyone. Some people get stuck in the … [Read more...]

Closure

Conflict

"Closure" is something that we all need in our lives. From time to time, we find ourselves in situations that leave us feeling like we are "hanging" in the balance. This is such an unsettling feeling. There are different types of uncomfortable situations and conflicts; some are caused by you and some are not...but if a situation has not been dealt with, it can leave you feeling pretty lousy. There have been many times in my life, and I'm sure you have experienced this too, where there has been an argument or a communication gap with a friend, coworker, your child's teacher, a family member, etc. The result, if not handled with proper care and communication, can be that there is no closure. This will become the white elephant in the room, the dark cloud hanging over your shoulder each … [Read more...]