Move Over Pride and Ego!

move over pride and ego

I have known so many people throughout my life who let their pride and ego get in the way of forgiveness. I have been one of those people at times. I'm sure you have as well. I know it is hard to forgive sometimes. It feels like it is a "give" on our part or like we are excusing the wrong behavior...but we also rationally know that hanging on to a wrong only hurts us. We are so stubborn at times. What makes us think that not forgiving someone is healthy or will do any good? Why would we think that holding on to that negative energy will hurt the other person? The energy of un-forgiveness is so very heavy. When we look at it in that light, it seems so very silly, doesn't it? We are intentionally hurting ourselves...that is so counterproductive! I know that when we are in the emotional … [Read more...]

Audio Mindset Minute: “Let Your Past Mistakes GUIDE You, Not DEFINE You”

Mindset Minute

So often we let our past mistakes DEFINE us instead of GUIDE us. You are not your past or your mistakes, but you may use them to grow. Join me for this week's segment of Mindset Minute to learn more! … [Read more...]

Are You Flexible?

flexible

To be flexible means that our body is limber, pliable, and fluid…it also means that our mind is able to bend and to see another person's point of view…to be able to put ourselves in someone's shoes…to feel empathetic, compassion, non-stringent and to be able to "Go with the flow". Are you flexible? The other day I took an aerobics class at the gym to which I belong. I could tell there were many ladies who frequented this particular class, but this was my first time attending. To everyone's astonishment, except mine, the regular instructor was not there. (GASP) There was a substitute! As we were guiding our bodies in an attempt to become more flexible, I could see and hear whispers of disappointment about the way the instructor was teaching the class. She obviously was not doing the … [Read more...]

Conflict and Communication

Conflict

Conflict happens all around us and to the best of us. It comes in many forms and it cannot be avoided at times. Sometimes, the conflict is with other people, and often times it is really just with yourself...because it is all in your mind. I have found myself in some different forms of conflict lately, and it sure has been an eye-opener to many great lessons. I have been involved in three different conflicts; two of them were things I needed to clear up with other people. And one was a conflict inside my own head!  Have you ever been in several unrelated conflicts? Sometimes the conflict is just a huge misunderstanding, and with that, good old fashioned communication will put everything back in order. If you are able to find the lesson and repair the relationship then the conflict … [Read more...]

Treat Me Like a Dog

dog

When I was in middle school, I recall a time (well, there were several times, but this one stands out) when I did something wrong. This incident stands out to me, because this was the first time I was confident enough to stand up to my dad and flex by boundary muscles. Here's what happened: My dad went out of town and I was staying with a friend of mine who lived just down the street. During my dad's leave, my friend and I snuck into my home one night, along with a few other friends, and had a little "party". Being dumb teenagers, we did not cover our tracks very well. We left the house a disaster, leaving evidence of our night everywhere. When my Dad returned home, "All Hell Broke Loose". My dad was so mad at me! I disrespected him and our home. I betrayed his trust. I let him … [Read more...]

Move Out Of Your Own Way

Move

The other day, three of my daughters and I were cleaning like Mad-Women. We were organizing the play room closet…and I mean organizing! We were cleaning out toy bins, finding missing game pieces, replacing, shifting, and throwing away. It was a mad overhaul. We spent hours working together. When we finished the playroom closet, we moved on to my youngest daughter's closet…we did the same thing there. When we were finished, we took four kitchen trash bags full to the "Black Can". We also buried an eighteen year old Lego table and a non-working baby doll stroller. Overall, it was a cleaning success. During this process, there was a "situation" that resulted in tears, yelling, and sadness: My 8 year old and I had a huge communication gap. I stepped on her toes and caused some hard … [Read more...]

When Should You Apologize?

Sorry

The other day I was listening to one of my sisters tell me a story: She and her 4-year-old daughter had just arrived home from a fun day at Disneyland. My sister was unloading her car as her daughter happily trotted inside. All of a sudden my sister heard a terrible screaming noise and immediately her "Mama-Bear" instincts kicked in! With adrenaline racing through her veins, she ran to check on her daughter. Thankfully, the screams were not her daughter. She ran outside again, toward the screams…trying to find the victim and offer help. What she found was a neighbor's dog violently attacking another neighbor's smaller dog. The screaming sound was coming from the smaller dog! The owner of the smaller dog came running out of her house crying and frantically trying to save her … [Read more...]

What Do You Want to Leave Behind?

Tidy

Whenever I am getting ready to take a trip, I start "Nesting". What I mean by nesting is that I start to clean and organize and make sure everything is in order...Just like pregnant women do right before the baby is coming. It is a well known phenomenon, as it is documented and realized by so many women. When that baby comes home from the hospital, everything is just as it should be. I have always been this way. I like to come home to a clean and organized home. I do not want to come home to a mess and a bunch of work. I like to have all the laundry finished and put away before packing for my trip...then when I come home, I only have the dirty clothes from my vacation to launder and not a huge pile. I guess all this nesting also helps me to enjoy my trip more. It would be hard … [Read more...]

Where Do You Focus Your Energy?

Mrs. Magoo

I am so very happy to live in a really wonderful neighborhood! I think about it all the time. Our homes spread down the street almost two miles long; there are cul de sac fingers all along the way, and all the homes are filled with top-notch people. Our neighbors range from newlyweds to families with young children, to grandparents, to couples with no children at all. The ladies all get together about once a month for a wine/appetizer night, there are block parties every few months, and there are dinner parties and gatherings all the time. I am so lucky to have the neighbors I do. We go out to lunch to celebrate birthdays, we have swim parties, and we help each other out. Everyone gets along; it is so unique and refreshing to have such a diverse selection of people who enjoy hanging out … [Read more...]

Closure

Conflict

"Closure" is something that we all need in our lives. From time to time, we find ourselves in situations that leave us feeling like we are "hanging" in the balance. This is such an unsettling feeling. There are different types of uncomfortable situations and conflicts; some are caused by you and some are not...but if a situation has not been dealt with, it can leave you feeling pretty lousy. There have been many times in my life, and I'm sure you have experienced this too, where there has been an argument or a communication gap with a friend, coworker, your child's teacher, a family member, etc. The result, if not handled with proper care and communication, can be that there is no closure. This will become the white elephant in the room, the dark cloud hanging over your shoulder each … [Read more...]