Are You Flexible?


To be flexible means that our body is limber, pliable, and fluid…it also means that our mind is able to bend and to see another person's point of view…to be able to put ourselves in someone's shoes…to feel empathetic, compassion, non-stringent and to be able to "Go with the flow". Are you flexible? The other day I took an aerobics class at the gym to which I belong. I could tell there were many ladies who frequented this particular class, but this was my first time attending. To everyone's astonishment, except mine, the regular instructor was not there. (GASP) There was a substitute! As we were guiding our bodies in an attempt to become more flexible, I could see and hear whispers of disappointment about the way the instructor was teaching the class. She obviously was not doing the … [Read more...]

Treat Me Like a Dog


When I was in middle school, I recall a time (well, there were several times, but this one stands out) when I did something wrong. This incident stands out to me, because this was the first time I was confident enough to stand up to my dad and flex by boundary muscles. Here's what happened: My dad went out of town and I was staying with a friend of mine who lived just down the street. During my dad's leave, my friend and I snuck into my home one night, along with a few other friends, and had a little "party". Being dumb teenagers, we did not cover our tracks very well. We left the house a disaster, leaving evidence of our night everywhere. When my Dad returned home, "All Hell Broke Loose". My dad was so mad at me! I disrespected him and our home. I betrayed his trust. I let him … [Read more...]

Whose Grass Are You Watering?

The grass is greener

About a year and a half ago, I wrote a blog post entitled, "Comparison is a Dangerous Act!" and it is! So many people compare themselves to others in a not-so-healthy way. Please take a few minutes and read it, as this blog post will build on that topic. I am going to go one step further…to the topic of Envy! Comparison is a negative act, in that you are judging others and yourself. Envy goes further down the negative spiral in that if you are envious of someone, you are coveting and putting more energy into their blessings than into your own. Envy is best defined as a resentful emotion that "occurs when a person lacks another's (perceived) superior quality, achievement or possession and wishes that the other lacked it." That definition of envy is scary in itself, but let's dig a … [Read more...]

The Art of Giving


The other day I found myself sitting in a restaurant by myself for lunch. I had a full day of errands to complete and a time schedule to keep. I ran in to get a quick bite before heading back to my tasks for the day. As I sat there engrossed in my veggie stir fry, I was approached by a young boy trying to sell me a huge box of pixy stix. He was rattling off a bunch of information as I was simultaneously half listening and devouring my lunch..."support children"..."stay off drugs"..."please help"..."donate". When I finally focused on the boy and his words, I realized he wanted me to give him money to support some children's club for under privileged children, which will help them stay off drugs. Since this was a Wednesday during lunch, I asked him if he attended school. He said he … [Read more...]

What Is Success?


Everybody has their own idea of what success is to them. How would you define it? Do you think success means having a lot of money and fine material objects? Do you think it means having an education? Do you think it means having a great family or a tight-knit group of friends? Do you think it is defined by how popular you are, or how high you are up the career ladder? I bet if I asked 30 people what success means to them, I would get 30 different answers. This is because success is very personally tailored. There are certain standards by which we judge someone and ourselves as being successful or unsuccessful, but those standards are very personal as well. Sometimes is it easy to judge another person as being unsuccessful, viewing them from what our idea of success is. But to that … [Read more...]

Do You Play the Blame Game?


Have you ever had a day that turns into a day of playing the "Blame Game?" What do I mean by that? Well, here's an example: You blame your spouse for making you late because he didn't wheel the trash can to the curb like he said he would, and therefore you had to do it. You then hit traffic because you left later than you wanted, and you blame the cars in front of you for stopping at that red light. You walk into your appointment, and since you arrived 6 minutes later than planned, you get stuck in line behind a very s-l-o-w man...which you would have been in front of, had you not been squeezed out of that front parking spot by that rude man on the motorcycle . Do you see the blame pattern? This is just a short scenario that in fact only hypothetically occurred over a very short span … [Read more...]

Walk a Mile in Their Shoes


It is so easy to be critical, from the outside looking in, towards someone from your point of view. We all have done it, and it is so easy to judge, not knowing the circumstances or the history or the emotions behind what we are witnessing. We make assumptions based on our past experiences and current moods, leaving compassion behind. This usually happens because we are in a hurry, and we are more worried about our schedule rather than feelings and people. We don't have time to waste on little inconveniences like people and the speed bumps they put before us. It's easy to condemn when it is not us…when it is someone else who is "in the way". Sometimes we are not critical, but we just don't want to be bothered with their"baggage". After all it's not our problem! We are too concerned … [Read more...]

Everything Happens For a Reason

challenge crop

I bet if you look back on your life, you can recall a really hard time that you made it through. If you conquered that storm, I can assure you that you can see the lesson that was learned and the growth that took place. If you keep having the same obstacle in your life over and over…that means it keeps appearing because the lesson has not yet been learned. Are you making the same poor decisions over and over again and still dealing with the same "yuck" that you don't like? "Insanity" is doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results. That never works! Some lessons are harder to learn than others. I am pretty stubborn, although I am getting better at this as I am learning to let go of fear and my pride. When I was younger it was hard … [Read more...]

My Way or the Highway?


Are you a "control freak"? Do you only want things done "your way"? If people can't do things the way you do them, would you rather do them yourself? I can relate to that in some ways. I keep a really organized and tidy home. I love to do laundry and I do it well. I fold the clothing just so. At one time or another, each of my four daughters has offered to help me fold the laundry. When I have said yes in the past, I always regret it…because I end up watching in pure frustration and refolding them after they are long gone playing. So now, I always say no. I have tried to let them fold towels…that's simple enough, right?….how can they do that "wrong"? Yes, you guessed it, I refold those too. My husband has stopped asking me if he can help, as he knows that is the one area I want to control. … [Read more...]

Personal Freedom


I had a strange emotional experience a few weeks ago. I was at one of my daughter's track meets. The weather was unusually cold and windy for Arizona…I mean really cold! I do not care to be cold, and I get cold pretty easily. So, knowing this, I wore the proper attire…a hat, gloves, scarf, Uggs, and a jacket. I even had backup warmth…a cushion that protects your bottom from cold, hard bleachers…and it transforms into a blanket! I was going to watch and cheer in comfort and warmth. This was definitely a day to put comfort in front of fashion. As I began to climb the bleacher steps, I saw my daughter and two of her friends walking down the bleachers. Perfect timing! As I cheerfully said hello to her, expecting her to hug and kiss me and introduce me to her friends, she said, "Nice … [Read more...]