Comparison is a Dangerous Act!

Comparison“Why compare yourself with others? No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than you.” ~Unknown

Comparing yourself to others is a really bad idea!  I think we do this consciously and unconsciously…but when we do this we are ultimately judging ourselves.  We rarely compare ourselves with someone less fortunate and feel blessed.  What is more common is we compare ourselves with people who do or have more than us and we then feel inadequate.

I think this is so detrimental and so unfair to do to ourselves!  We all come into this world with different strengths, talents, and struggles, and they need to be embraced and celebrated.  If you love to get weekly massages and it results in you feeling relaxed and energized, is it fair to compare yourself to someone who never gets stressed or run down and therefore doesn’t want or need massages?  That just doesn’t even make sense, now does it?

Comparing ourselves with someone else is an inaccurate and irrelevant measuring stick, because we are all unique beings.  What we really need to do is compare ourselves with ourselves.  How about comparing your own growth and accomplishments?  How about comparing your fitness level with what it was in years past.  What about comparing the kind of car you drive compared to your first car?  What about comparing what a great parent you are after your third child compared to your first? If we are continuing to grow and expand and become better…then comparing where we were a few years back to now should give us a great feeling of accomplishment. If it doesn’t, and you fall short…then you have something to aspire to, a goal to reach, a dream to attain.  Forward motion…that is healthy!

Michelangelo said “Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it”.  We are each our own sculptor.  All of us have the ability to find our greatest strengths and cultivate them. We are all so uniquely wonderful.

We need to celebrate our self, our individual strengths and desires , our likes and even our dislikes.  Who is to say that I should like to ride horses?  I do not like to ride horses and I need not compare myself to others who do.  If I judge myself and in doing so , ask myself, “Why can’t I love to ride horses like her?”, that would make me feel inadequate and less than.  On the flip side, if I did like to ride horses and I pressured my friends into riding them or made them feel badly about themselves because they told me they didn’t care for riding horses…then that would make me judgmental towards others.  Neither side of that coin is healthy or appealing.  I am confident with me and my likes and dislikes. I hope you are too!

So, here is a challenge for you this week and beyond:

Take note when you compare yourself with another person, whether it be with their physical attributes, the car they drive, the home they live in, their well-behaved children, their sense of humor, their marriage, etc. When you catch yourself comparing, judging yourself, and/or feeling insufficient…I want you to do two things:

One, replace the judgmental thought with a joyful one.  Express joy towards that person.  Celebrate their successes and their gifts. Be happy for that person! Of course this can all be done in your head and to yourself…or if you feel confident enough, give them a compliment!  Tell them how much you admire this or that, tell them how great they look, tell them you love their new coat, etc.

Two, tell yourself something you admire about YOU.  Breathe in all the goodness that you are.  Celebrate just one area where you have grown and have become better.  Appreciate where you have been and where you are today.  Compare you with you…don’t let comparison steal your joy!

Now…doesn’t that feel better!?!?


  1. Gigi Peterson says:

    Yes, that feels great!!!

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